What makes a great Parent

There are many things that I tend to keep to myself or have only a very select few know about me. One thing that I like for people to know about are who my parents are. I have two of the best parents that a person can ask for and I would not trade them for anyone else. However, there is a little twist and let me tell you a little bit more about that story.

I am the second child to John and Susan. I have an older sister and a brother who is two years younger than I am. My parents did not work out together and divorced when I was about six years old. In the divorce my mother got custody of the three of us. To this day I am still not sure how that happened as she never really held down a job and was not very stable. Very soon after my parents divorced my mother remarried and had another son my half brother. My stepdad is a good man and did everything that he could to help raise us and make sure that we were taken care of. One thing that the two of us bonded over was collecting football cards and it was a great way to share something. To this day I still have those cards and remember those days as I was a child. He did a lot but also at the time he was not ready to be the sole provider of four kids three that were not his. Now, my dad was paying child support and we did get to see him every other weekend. This was all he could do as this was what was drawn up by the court system. Now, again I was very young and do not remember everything that might have happened, but I do remember a good amount. I do not know why my mother had trouble holding down a job but she did and we moved around a ton.

As a kid we moved around so much that I averaged at least two schools a year some years even more. We moved all over Virginia and even in and out of homeless shelters. How she still had us still amazes me to this day but she did. In a way I am glad to have gone through this experience as it has made me who I am today. It was an experience going up and it has taught me a lot over the years.

When I was ten years old my mother dropped the three us off at my dads doorstep since she could no longer take care of us. To this day I really do not know if it was that she did not want us or simply could not take care of us. Either way we no longer living with her.

Three years later my dad remarried to my stepmom Cathy and I have to say that was one of the best decisions he ever made. She stepped right up and over the years have treated us as if we were one of her own. I do not like using the title stepmom at all as she is my mom. It she who had attended my little league football games, was there for my high school cross country and track meets, the homecomings, prom, graduation, my two back surgeries, giving advice, and so much more. Susan never came to any of these activities nor did ever seem interested. As a kid and a teenager that is something hard to go through when your mother wants nothing to do with you. There were a few phone conversations here and there with her, but there was never any face time.

When I had my first back surgery I was a junior in high school. When I woke up in the hospital afterwards it was Cathy that I saw sitting bedside to make sure that I was doing ok. That really meant a lot to me and to this day it means even more. I remember being home after the surgery it had to be close to Christmas time and Susan had called and I was speaking to her. I informed her about the surgery and that it would be great if she would like to stop by sometime to see how I was doing and just to chat. She said sure, but that day never came.

To me a mom is not something who had to give birth to but the one that cares about you and that will be there for all of the special moments in your life. Helping you out when things are not going so well, someone to talk to when you need some advice, and someone who is going to teach you things about life. When it comes to Mother's Day, holidays, and any other day it has been Cathy that is there and who I am doing anyone these things for. Susan has never been around.

About five years ago Susan sent me a message on Facebook which only contained five words: "Hi Son love you Mom. This really turned me inside out for a few days as I had not idea on how to respond or if I wanted to respond at all. One of the biggest things that hit me was that she loved me and said mom. I have always wondered how do you love a stranger? Because to me that is what she and I are, we are strangers. The last time Susan really knew me was when I was 10 years old. I understand that she gave birth and must feel that little connection but how do you love someone that you have not wanted anything to do with for so many years. Now, I do believe in second chances and I was open to start talking with her and be friends, but the mother and son relationship would probably never happen thou. It would have been nice to have some sort of relationship though.

I ended up responding to her and she did not like what I had to say. I was not rude at all but I wanted her to know who I felt and that I would be interested in chatting as friends. She did not like this and went on slamming my dad. We exchanged maybe three messages back and forth and she stated to never contact her again.

Susan's birthday was on June 4th and to me it is a depressing day. I try to ignore the day as much as I can as it is a reminder of her and how she has acted towards me over all these years. My sister sent me and my brother a message and stated that we were being "Ass's" for not wishing Susan a Happy Birthday this year. My sister went on saying that I probably do not know when her birthday is and that I need to forgive and care. That Susan is still a person. I responded back to my sister and did state that I really do not care but also how can I contact someone when I have no contact information on her. My sister then fires right back at me that there is always Facebook. Well, Susan has blocked me from Facebook so there is no way for me to send her a message. If my sister and brother want to have a relationship with her than that it fine with me. As a grown person we get to make those decisions for ourselves, but for those decisions we should not be judged for. I really would love for all of my siblings to have a relationship with Susan and patch things up one day. Do I see that in my future I do not but, but I am someone who will say never say never. Susan would have to be the person to step up and act like a parent. She has not done so in 20 years and to be honest I do not see that happening any time soon. It hurts for me to say it but some people are not meant to be parents and some are.

I do wish Susan the best and I really hope she is having a great life. It is very sad that she has not wanted to be apart of her children's lives, and that is something that I cannot change. For my sister I am glad that she has found forgiveness for her and I hope that they do have a relationship one day. We were blessed with an amazing stepmom who has become my mom and I would not trade that for anything in the world.

Booking your Vacations

For those who do not know me I work in the hospitality industry and have done it for well over 10 years now. I really love what I do or I would not be doing it. There is just the enjoyment of making people happy and also the chance of training and developing my staff. Now, one of the hardest parts of working in the hospitality industry is dealing with rude and stupid people and also the people that feel that they are entitled to everything. This does not happen on a daily basis but it does happen weekly. I get to meet and talk to some of the most amazing and nicest people every day but then there are the times that I get to deal with someone that is very rude and takes the "customer is always right" motto to a whole another level. During this time of year one of the most frustrating things that I deal with are people who do not research their vacation or travel plans.

When it comes to booking a hotel reservation for your vacation don't you want to reach the place and the surrounding areas a little bit. Lately I have been looking into taking a vacation to Cancun, Mexico sometime this summer and I have been looking at many different flights, hotels,using google, and google maps to find the best deals but also a place that has everything that I might be looking for. I have my note pad that I use to write down the places that I need to look more into and places that are a no go right off the bat. On top of the page I have the most important things that I am looking for in a hotel while I am on vacation; internet as it would be nice to have it complimentary as I plan on checking emails, writing, and reading, close to the beach, close to some night life as I am going to be on vacation but also in case if I feel like going out, and it would be nice to have at least breakfast included. So, by having some guidelines I know what places I can cross off my list and others to take a deeper look into.

As I have been looking into places I use Google and Google maps to help determine the distance to the beach and what might be close by. Then I pull up the hotels website to see what they are offering in terms of a shuttle, restaurants, internet, pool, and whatever else I might be interested in. If their website does not fully explain their shuttle service then I know I need to call and ask about that at least. But, I am doing my research first before I call them that way I know that they will answer my most important questions that I have. Also, I would not be frustrating the staff by asking questions that can be found on their website. If I have to google and look up their phone number can't I also check real quick to see if they offer a shuttle to and from the airport. I mean that only makes sense to me.

That is one of thing that gets me when I answer the phone at work. I get all these questions about things that are listed on our website. I mean you had to look up the phone number why is it so difficult to click on the tab that explains everything the hotel has to offer. I got a call for a person about a week ago asking if we had a pool on site. I stated that we do not have a pool but there is a water park less than a mile away. The lady on the phone then states oh I thought you had a pool did you get rid of the pool? I explained that the hotel has never had a pool but there is a hotel close to us that does. She insisted that we have a pool and that I was lying. Then she asks if we have a shuttle to the airport. I explained that we do not but one to and from the closest metro station to the hotel. The next question that the lady had was about parking, did we have parking at the hotel and how much is it. I stated that we do have parking and that it is complimentary. That was the only answer that she was happy with. As I asked her what was it that she was looking for and if she had looked at our website before she made her reservation which was an advance purchase and non refundable. She said no she did not look at our website to double check these things. I really wanted to say to her 'why in the hell would you book a hotel reservation and not get any information before you did so?' All this does is get the person upset that they are not going to get the amenities that they want and they tend to be rude to the staff once they check in. I am sorry to say that it is not the staffs fault any where you stay that they cannot offer you want you want if the hotel does not offer it.

I was yelled at by another guests because I did not have a room that had two beds in the room with a pull out sleeper sofa. I am sorry but I did not design the rooms or sell you a room that I do not have. He stated that since I do not have want he needs and wants that I needed to give him a second room for free to make up for it. I was very nice to him, but I could not honor that request well to be honest his demand of a few room. But, again another sign that people do not research before they book.

For all of you travelers out there just a little advice, please look into and research your vacations a little more. Pull up the hotels website see what they offer and do not offer. And lastly do not take it out on the staff that works there. They were not the bonehead that booked the reservation for you. It only takes a few extra minutes to pull up the hotel facts page. So, if you want to be happy then you better put the time and effort in to making your vacation a happy vacation.

Do you have any stories that you would like to share? If so please leave all your comments on the Facebook page RollinwRenkadink.